In South Africa, like elsewhere in the world, the concept of ‘best interests of the child’ is given practical meaning when both parents draft a parenting plan that suits their child specifically and which is dependent on their age, maturity, development and circumstances of that child.
WHAT IS A PARENTING PLAN?
A parenting plan is a written document that outlines how parents will raise their child after separation or divorce. If you are unwed parents, this parenting plan will be referred to legally as the Parental Rights and Responsibilities Agreement, even though the contents are very similar to a parenting plan. In South Africa, legal terms such as ‘custody’ and ‘access’ are referred to as ‘care’ and ‘contact’ respectively, according to the Children’s Act 38 of 2005.
EXCEPT IN CASES OF ABUSE OR VIOLENCE, YOUR PARENTING PLAN SHOULD MAKE SURE THAT:
- You give your children regular, consistent times with each of you for day- to-day care, overnights, activities, schoolwork, and holidays.
- Both parents can have information about the children.
- Both parents can communicate with the children.
WHY DO YOU NEED ONE?
A parenting plan helps to reduce conflict between parents by setting out clear guidelines and expectations. Research shows that children’s chances of coping successfully with their parents’ separation or divorce are better if their parents cooperate with each other. This document gives your child a reliable routine, while preserving the relationship you all share as a family.
GUIDELINES TO CONSIDER WHEN DISCUSSING A PARENTING PLAN
- LIVING ARRANGEMENTSWill the child live mainly in one residence or will the child move between two homes?
- HOLIDAYS AND SPECIAL DAYSArrangements for holidays (consider school holidays, public holidays, religious holidays) and for other significant days (consider birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and any other events)
- HEALTH CAREHow will decisions be made about dental or medical treatment and emergency medical treatment?
- CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDSArrangements for any special treatments, therapies or services needed now as well as in the future.
- EDUCATIONDecisions about any choice or change in school, school programme, special educational needs, tutoring, etc.
- EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITIESHow many and what type?
- RELIGIONReligious upbringing and activities, celebrations, rites of passage, etc.
- CULTURECultural events, education and activities, as well as language instruction.
- GRANDPARENTS AND EXTENDED FAMILYHow often and when will visits with extended family take place?
- TRAVELWill notice of travel with the child be given to the other parent? Should notice be given for all travel or just travel that is out of the province? Leaving the country will have other specific requirements)
- COMMUNICATION BETWEEN PARENTSType, method, frequency, and emergency of information to be communicated.
You both know your child best. There may be some issues in these guidelines that do not apply to your situation and there may be others not listed that are unique to your situation. Please seek the help of a qualified professional to mediate your parenting plan, so that you can both communicate what will work out realistically for your children.
