It is important to understand that mediation is not therapy or counselling, but rather a dispute resolution process facilitated by a neutral, impartial and unbiased, qualified person. So how would you know if the person who functions as a mediator, is conducting himself or herself in such a manner?
CHARACTERISTICS AND BEHAVIOUR YOU SHOULD LOOK OUT FOR:
- The mediator must not have any personal or business involvement with any of the people involved in the dispute.
- All parties should feel comfortable with appointed mediators and believe that they will be neutral in the resolution of the dispute.
- In addition to conducting the mediation, mediators can provide a range of services, including:
- Calling the other parties to talk to them about mediation and explaining why it is an option to consider.
- Conducting an initial consultation with both parties to explain the process and address whether the dispute can be mediated or not
- Arranging the first meeting
- Providing a neutral location for the mediation.
- The mediator must not relay information about their own personal circumstances, even if it correlates to the issues in dispute, and must not get personally involved in making decisions for the parties.
- The mediator must be able to separate his/her emotions from the issues and not engage in consoling or sympathising with a particular party.
- The mediator must not give legal advice, but rather provide legal information on the issues so as to assist the parties to create options.
- The mediator must enforce respect throughout the proceedings both from him/herself and from the parties towards
- each other and the mediator.
- The mediator must be a good listener and not interrupt the discussions unnecessarily, but rather listen to the underlying issues, which are preventing resolution, and assist the parties to work through them.
- Other personal traits of a good mediator include a sense of maturity, calmness, analytical skills and intelligence
APPOINTING YOUR MEDIATOR
If you have not been referred, then you will need to conduct an Internet search for a mediator who deals specifically with your issues. A website will tell you a lot about the mediator and how experienced and knowledgeable they are. You and the other party must then agree on a few choices and who will make contact with the mediators, or one party can do the research and let the other party know what options there are available.
It is often misunderstood that the person who tells their side of the story to the mediator will win the mediator over and so the other party will refuse to use a mediator who has been contacted because they believe that the mediator
has already picked a side – this is not the case. Mediators are bound by an ethical code to remain impartial and should not be dismissed out of a fear that they will not hear your side of the story.
CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS WHEN YOU APPOINT A MEDIATOR:
- What training have they received, and where? Training should be through a recognised training institution, university, professional or legal organisation.
- For how long have they been in mediation?
- What standards of conduct do they abide by?
- What do they charge and what is included in the fee? How are travel, administrative and drafting time and, of course, the actual mediation time determined?
- Will they contact everyone who is involved in the dispute to organise the first mediation session?
- Do they have experience in the particular issues that are in dispute?
Mediation is not about being told by a mediator that you are right or wrong. It is about working on the best possible outcome for both the parties and, if there are children involved, to ensure that their best interests are taken care of and any mediator worth your time and money will conduct themselves accordingly.
