Veerash Srikison asks parents how they would react if their child was involved in an argument or fight at school, which further escalated in a teacher being involved so that they, as parents, had to be called in to the school to hear of this incident?
The Children’s Act 38 of 2005 defines a “care giver” as “any person other than the parent or guardian, who factually cares for a child and includes…(b) a person who cares for a child with the implied or express consent of a parent or guardian of the child”. Therefore an educator becomes a caregiver and it is important that parents have an on-going relationship with the school personnel and other parents throughout their child’s school career. How you react to conflict situations involving your child and their educators will lay a foundation for how your child experiences the rest of their academic years.
TALK IT OUT
If your reaction was one of making a point of letting the school know who pays their educators’ salaries, ask yourself what this would achieve. There is an alternative to resolving any altercations at school that does not have to end up with tears, victimisation and/or the removal of your child from the school and that alternative is mediation.
Mediation is a positive problem-solving process which, when utilised by schools, leads to co-operative and supportive working relationships between the school personnel, learners and parents. Mrs Patti Blackhurst, Junior Preparatory Principal at Dainfern College in Johannesburg firmly believes that hearing the voice of the child is paramount to any educator’s responsibility as a caregiver.
“The child is empowered and knows tha this or her voice counts, which is obviously in his or her best interests as it immediately places value on the child and gives him or her significance.” Mrs Blackhurst further supports the idea of mediation at schools by pointing out that “punitive disciplinary measures that simply punish all transgressions without any mediation only increase the level of anger, fear, insecurity and frustration in individuals and this then has an impact on society.”
Mrs Blackhurst strongly advises parents who are facing conflict within their homes to seek mediation to resolve their issues regardless of the status of their relationship so that the emotional trauma children experience watching their parents does not spill over into other areas of their development. She says that a child’s behaviour is a symptom of their emotional status, so when they feel the support of their teachers or the principal, they are given the tools to better manage difficult situations.
HOW TO ENCOURAGE MEDIATION AT SCHOOLS
- Schools need to teach their learners peer mediation skills where they learn how to resolve conflict amongst and between each other with neutrality and impartiality.
- Encourage learners to learn problem- solving skills and develop collaborative solutions as a life skill.
- Arrange for a mediator to resolve disputes between teachers and parents so that both sides are given a fair opportunity to be heard.
- Encourage conflict resolution between school personnel to be resolved through mediation.
- Educators and school counsellors should encourage parents who are in disputes or divorce proceedings to seek mediation as an alternative to constant arguments/disagreements in order to resolve their private and domestic issues so that children have less emotional setbacks while at school.
EVERYONE BENEFITS
The impartial mediator facilitates the process and the parents, teachers and children work in a collaborative effort to determine outcome in the best interests of the child. Mrs Blackhurst reiterates, “Mediation is a process which makes for a more empathetic and tolerant school community and will, hopefully, lead to our children becoming better citizens of the future.”
The beauty of mediation is that it allows for the preservation of all relationships and parents learn to work together with the very people in whose care they put they child.
